Friday, August 14, 2009

Whole Foods To It's Customers, "You Hippies Are Revolting"

OK, well not really, but they would certainly be happier if their customers would stop "revolting" and come back to the store.

To whit, this creative bit of damage control to come out Whole Foods PR central:

To our customers,

As you are aware, John Mackey wrote an Op/Ed piece that was published in the Wall Street Journal earlier this week on health care reform, one of the biggest and most emotional issues facing our country. John’s intent was to express his personal opinions — not those of Whole Food Market team members or our company as a whole. Still, it’s very clear that John’s piece offended some of our customers, other members of the communities we serve and some of our team members as well.

We offer you our sincere apology.

We’d like to clarify a few things that have been misinterpreted:

John’s Op/Ed piece was written in favor of health care reform. In response to President Obama’s invitation to all Americans to put forward constructive ideas for reforming our health care system, John was asked to write an Op/Ed piece and he gave his personal opinion. John titled the piece “Health Care Reform,” but an editor at the Journal rewrote the headline to call it “Whole Foods Alternative to Obamacare,” which led to antagonistic feelings by many. That was not John’s intention – in fact, John does not mention the President at all in his piece. John has posted the unedited piece to his blog where people can read it as it was intended.

So I guess we can just disregard the actual content of the editorial because of the title. Yeah, riiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhtttttt.

Daily Kos does a fairly hysterical "annotated" version of the mea culpa. It's worth a read.

In another wonderful bit of irony, teabaggers have been descending on the Whole Foods blog defending a store they wouldn't be caught dead in two days ago. A typical comment:

You're an ignoramus. Look at the facts. Anything the government has involved itself in haS becomes less efficient and more expensive. That's not partisan it's reality. The CBO has twice now substantiated that this trend will only continue if the government gets involved. We need to address the cost of health care but the gov. is not the solution.
Posted by Stump

Which prompted this inspired reply, which I share with you gladly. It ought to be copied and handed out as a talking points memo to every Democratic Lawmaker in Congress, the White House, and used as a rebuttal to any and all anti-reform health care emails.

Once again, for the benefit of the government-can't-get-anything-right flock:


This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and tTechnology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issed by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to ny house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

The only reason government doesn't work is because conservative Republican administrations defunded and/or patronage staffed them with people with ties to special business interests: to wit the last FDA, Dept of Interior and Agriculture under Bush. No one seems to have a problem with pumping over $500Bil to the Defense Department which last I hear is a socialized entity.

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